May 2012
46 posts
1 tag
May 29th
67 notes
2 tags
May 29th
60 notes
3 tags
May 27th
642 notes
4 tags
May 27th
109,816 notes
2 tags
May 27th
4,669 notes
2 tags
Get home from taking the GRE, immediately start...
May 26th
6 tags
May 25th
74 notes
6 tags
May 24th
25 notes
4 tags
May 24th
273 notes
1 tag
I can't remember what I did on the internet before...
theepichumor:
May 23rd
43,252 notes
5 tags
May 23rd
271 notes
May 23rd
213 notes
1 tag
May 23rd
206 notes
May 22nd
7,352 notes
4 tags
May 22nd
121 notes
3 tags
yes.
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
May 22nd
37,804 notes
2 tags
May 22nd
2,817 notes
1 tag
May 20th
37,652 notes
2 tags
May 20th
2,435 notes
1 tag
May 20th
304,194 notes
2 tags
May 19th
13 notes
3 tags
May 19th
1,222 notes
5 tags
May 18th
29 notes
Here's What I Think:
Once you watch every single thing an actor has been in, someone should have to mail them a little flyer with a picture of you letting them know about your existence. Because after all the hard work I’ve put into these obsessions, I DESERVE TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED. 
May 17th
1 tag
May 17th
13,690 notes
3 tags
May 17th
1,045 notes
2 tags
May 17th
2,648 notes
3 tags
May 15th
31,783 notes
1 tag
wvnderbar: when i find myself with loads of homework mother mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom “watch tv”
May 15th
9,968 notes
May 15th
5,669 notes
2 tags
500daysofpoppunk: You ever look at a guy and just think “wow please bend me over the nearest table”
May 15th
2,031 notes
May 13th
546 notes
2 tags
May 13th
6,617 notes
May 13th
802 notes
May 13th
1,503 notes
2 tags
May 13th
17 notes
May 13th
4,573 notes
2 tags
attention everyone this is what a russian 404 page looks like
May 12th
24,804 notes
1 tag
May 12th
209 notes
5 tags
May 9th
12,255 notes
3 tags
May 8th
177 notes
2 tags
May 8th
83 notes
2 tags
May 5th
64 notes
1 tag
May 5th
19 notes
4 tags
teacher: So which career are you most interested in?
me: Cato.
teacher: ...
May 3rd
47 notes
2 tags
youvejustbeen-sherlocked: forever falling in love with fictional psycopaths
May 3rd
41 notes
April 2012
55 posts
2 tags
3 hours of being on tumblr later...
“Oh, right, I opened that tab to look up something for my homework.”
Apr 30th
2 tags
Apr 30th
7,360 notes
2 tags
Apr 30th
1 tag
Apr 29th
41 notes